Today was day 9 of spinning.. I’m somewhat regreting this whole spin for 21 days straight thing, but oh well, i’m sticking with it. I’m finding a new part of my body is sore everyday, I’m sure that comes from compensating for the other sore part the day before, but whatever.

I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas, I am actually excited to go home for Christmas this year. I haven’t been in two years and I think it will be nice, just the right amount of time. It should be good mom and I are going to spend a mother daughter day in Seattle, should be nice. I get to meet her new boyfriend, a tad bit akward.. but we all get to be akward sometimes. I’m taking my mom to get fitted for a new bra, that should be an experience…a lift I guess. 🙂

I haven’t seen cute lawyer guy in ages, kind of disappointing, but what’s a girl to do?

I was talking with my friend yesterday and we were talking about that no matter what men are somewhat disappointing. I think we all are somewhat disappointing to each other at some point. But I think the ratio is higher women vs. men, I think women generally have to give more on their expectations then men do. I think the hardest thing to figure out is what is correct? What is the correct ratio of give on my part? How much can I expect? What do I need to let go of? I think there is a book about these questions, I’ll have to find it. Then i think the next part is figuring out how to let go if it’s not enough. How do you release those feelings and move on? Can you really move on? I automatically think of Carrie and Mr. Big on “Sex in the City,” he was not able to give Carrie what she wanted and so she moved on, but did she really? She had an affair with him, they talked on the phone all the time, and ultimately at the end of the series they got together. I know that “sex and the city” isn’t reality, but I think at times it can mimic relationships quite well. We know Carrie dated other guys, but it still didn’t work and I think in the beginning you know that. I think when you meet that person you know. Yet somehow you have to muster up the strength to move on, to get past it, to trust that time heals all wounds, love heals everything, all that shit. I’m in the getting past it stage. The BOY wants to be friends again and I just want to scream “We were never really friends!”