All things new.

It’s the title of a song by a group that I used to love called “Watermark.”  I don’t listen to them so much anymore, but I can across their cd a few days into ’09 and fell in love with it again. I am so happy that things can be new. That we can have new years, new starts, the day beings again, and we breathe fresh air. Rains come, rains go, the sun shines, the seasons keep moving, and we adjust, we wade through the stormy seas, we crawl to the shore, we do our best to be who we want to be, who we are, but mostly we just have to learn to be who we are in the midst of the madness.

I was talking to a good friend yesterday about how it’s hard to rest and relax and just be when everything is in turmoil and finding the will to fight through it too. It is such a delicate balance. I see it now in medicine. Especially after finishing our critical care rotation. We treat very sick people with drugs that would potentially kill them if they were healthy. If we give them too much, we can kill them, too little their own bodies don’t have enough strength to fight for them them. We are constantly making decisions for their lives that keeps them right in that balance. We know eventually a tide will turn. Their bodies will start to work with the meds and they will be better or they will get worse. We don’t know, we don’t know what will happen. Each life is different. Each body is different. Each person has their time, their purpose and it isn’t up to us to decide how it will work out. We fight for them until they can fight for themselves.

I am convinced that there are times in life that we have to do that for others. We have to hold dear and fight for those who are important to us. We have to believe when they cannot. We get the privilage of being
strong when they feel weak. And hopefully just hopefully, when you are weak, when I am weak, they(those that love us) will be there for us. That is what friendship, what love, what life is all about. I am so thankful that I have those relationships in my life. I

This new year proves to be promising and full of challenge. It is my last year of school. At the end of December I will have my Bachelors of Science in Nursing. I want to say it’s been a long hard road. However, it really hasn’t. It’s been three and half years of little sleep, lots of work, lots of hope, lots of disappointment. I will be poor when I graduate, but I’m walking into a job that will help all of that go away very quickly. I have made some great new friends, found myself in a sweet and calm relationship and overall fairly happy with myself.

I look forward to 2009. The happy, the hurt, the love, the tears, the A’s, the B’s, the C’s. The babies I’ll get to hold as they come into this world. The babies I’ll get to hold in the midst of incredible illness. The help I can be to families and to other nurses in heartache. I am going to drown myself in all of it, because after all, that is what life is. Life is all about diving in and loving each part of the good and bad.

Cheers to 2009 and everything it brings!